25 years
I think that my cousin is taking drugs. He is always aggressive, he is not trying to find any job and he hates his parents. i am the only close person to him but he will never tell! What to do ?
Nov 10, 2014
Signs that you or someone you know may have a drug addiction include:
Psychological signals:
• use of drugs as a means to avoid/forget problems or to relax
• withdrawal or keeping secrets from family and friends
• loss of interest in activities that used to be important
• problems with schoolwork, such as slipping grades or frequent absenteeism
• changes in friendships, such as hanging out only with friends who use drugs
• stealing or selling belongings to be able to afford drugs
• anxiety, anger, or depression
• mood swings
Physical signals:
• changes in sleeping habits
• looking shaky or sick
• changes in eating habits, including weight loss or gain
Involving your cousin's parents will have to take place eventually; for now though, and in order to ensure your cousin’s trust and not scare him off, you should abide by the following steps:
1. Be direct and calm.
You ought to approach your cousin directly and immediately, and before you decide to approach him, make sure you are calm and contained so as to avoid letting your frustration spill over into the conversation. And remember: NO drama, panic, anger, aggression or pointing fingers of accusations, otherwise he will tell you absolutely nothing. Yelling, threatening, preaching and lecturing will inevitably drive him away from the conversation, so he will sneak around and lie.
Try to show him genuine concern for his well-being.
You should expect denial reaction and responses like ”It’s just pot, and I don’t smoke it that often, anyway”. If this happens, respond briefly while emphasizing that all drugs are harmful and should not be used at all.
2. Ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions.
This will help your cousin unfold and be honest and open up about the problem if it actually exists. Questions like: “Can you tell me more about that? How did you feel in that situation? What will you do if that happens again? How can I help you with this?” are recommended.
4. Don’t punish.
Avoid punishing him, like denying him from going to activities together, as this will never keep a drug user away from using.
5. Show support.
If your cousin admits to drug use, thank him for being honest with you, and reassure him that you will help him and that you love him.
6. Treatment.
A qualified therapist who specializes in working with teens and young adults will have to be consulted at some point. When talking about professional help, don’t negotiate. Instead be brief, firm and clear. You could say something like: “It is clear to me that you have been using something, and I am very much concerned for your safety As your cousin and close friend I consider myself responsible for your safety and well-being, so I will schedule an appointment for someone for you, and both of us, to talk to about this issue.”
Even if your cousin is an adult, this same approach style should be used. It is true that you may not be able to force him to attend therapy, you can still maneuver other things, such as your helping him financially (if he’s younger) for example.
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I think you are concerned about your cousin and this is really important to show him. You can offer your help and tell him that people can help him as well (starting with a psychiatrist, therapist...) and that some NGO are there as well to help him like Oum el Nour, Skoun...
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