3 years
My kid 3 years is getting aggressive after my delivery since 6 months with everyone; crying for no reason,sad,despite all pampering him,can u help pls
Dec 26, 2015
- asking for the bottom even if he has stopped using it used one for a while
- refuse to walk and start crawling again
- stop using his potty so you'd have to use the diaper and change him like the new baby
- sit in the baby's seat
- jump on to the sofa when you're breastfeeding
He may even pinch new sibling. This is a way to divert your attention away from the baby, as even your bad temper (negative attention) is better than being ignored.
You need to be aware that a toddler does not understand at this age that pinching hurts. All he knows is that poking makes the baby cry and gets his mummy's undivided attention.
1. Involve your toddler in looking after the baby
Choose the little jobs where your toddler can help you with,such as holding towels while bathing the baby, or grabbing the diapers. When your baby cries, teach your toddler could to sing to her for example. If your toddler begs to hold his new sibling, sit him in an armchair, well propped with pillows on either side. Then put your baby into his lap and stay nearby.
Your toddler will probably think that your baby is coming between you and him. Acknowledge this: "She does cry rather a lot, doesn't she?" And make his needs come first when you can.
You may also want to be a bit more lean if you're toilet training him, or in choosing his food. Toddlers may regress in these areas when a new sibling arrives. Give him the food you know he likes, and remove what he doesn't eat without comment.
3. Ask your toddler for help and advice
You could ask your toddler what he thinks his baby sister would like to wear her. Or you could ask for suggestions for how to make her laugh. Point out how much your baby likes him: "Look at how she smiles for her big brother!"
Your toddler may not want to help. He may just want to put his hands over his ears and deny your baby's existence. If this is the case, don't force it. He'll come around in time, but you could cause more resentment by insisting that he gets involved before he's ready.
4. Spend time with your toddler
It's natural for your eldest to feel jealous. After all, he suddenly has to share you. Do not ever scold him. Instead, acknowledge his feelings by putting them into words. You could say: "Your little sister cries a lot and takes up lots of Mommy's time, doesn't she? Sometimes I bet you wish she could eat her dinner by herself!" This may help him to understand that you're aware of his point of view.
Try to dedicate some time each day to do something with just him. You will reduce any jealousy if you sometimes put your toddler first.
5. Point out the perks of being the big brother. Remind him of what he can do all by himself and all the things he is allowed to play with that his sister is too young for.
6. Be prepared for aggressive behavior
Toddlers find it hard to control their feelings. So don't be surprised if your toddler throws objects at your baby then pretend it was an accident.
It's not nice, but it is normal. Prevention is your first line of defence. Make it as difficult as possible for your toddler to hurt your baby. If he hits or pinches her, give your attention to your baby and ignore him. That way he loses what he wanted, which is your attention.
If you see him being aggressive, step in immediately. Once your baby is settled again, tell him that it is naughty to hit and pinch.
Encourage your toddler to talk about how he feels and put his feelings into words, without telling him he is bad: Sometimes when babies cry a lot, we get upset." Make it clear that lashing out because of those feelings isn't acceptable: "But hitting babies is always naughty." It may help all of you to give your toddler time out until he has calmed down.
Try not to leave your toddler alone with your baby, but don't say it's because you don't trust him. Even if your older child is generally affectionate, keep sharp objects well out of reach.
7. Don't compare your children
Avoid any form of comparison between your children. Instead, emphasise each child's unique strengths. You could say, "You run very fast! And your baby sister is good at crawling, don't you think?"
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